Tag: writing

The ‘Sequel Approach’ to Successful Fundraising

Steven Screen  |  Repeat
Sequel.

Two weeks ago at the Nonprofit Storytelling Conference, I shared an idea that’s challenging to some fundraisers and organizations:

Many effective appeals & campaigns are “sequels” of previous successful appeals or campaigns.

Here’s what I mean…

Say you send an appeal in March and it works great.  When it’s time to make next year’s March appeal, you make a “sequel” of the successful appeal.  You do that by looking at last year’s package.  You make any copy improvements you can, maybe replace the story with a new one, perhaps make the design a little cleaner.    

Now you have a “sequel” to a successful appeal.  And the sequel is highly likely to raise just as much money as the first appeal, if not more.

Then the following year you make another sequel, making it better yet again, and raising even more money.  And you keep making sequels until your results start to decline, or there’s some other good reason to stop (the program ends, you discover a better idea in another appeal, etc.).

I used AI to generate an image to illustrate the concept.  This is meant to be a nonprofit with their original March appeal on the left, and the two sequels they’ve made…

As you move from left to right (in other words, as you make more sequels), they get better and more interesting than the original successful appeal.  Each year’s appeal raises a bit more money than the previous year’s.  This is what getting really good at fundraising in the mail and email looks like.

Now, let’s compare that approach with the standard approach of, “We have to come up with a new theme for every appeal.”  Here’s what that looks like…

Here we’ve got three totally unique appeals, and each year’s revenue is a bit of a guessing game.

Large organizations and agencies follow the “sequel approach” because it has all sorts of advantages over the standard approach:

  • Revenue tends to grow each year
  • Revenue is more predictable
  • Lessons are learned faster
  • Sequels take less time and effort to create

And of course, when an appeal or campaign doesn’t work, there’s no sequel.  Plus it’s important to experiment every once in a while. 

The thing I don’t like about the “sequel” analogy is that in movies, the sequel usually isn’t as good as the original.  The seventh sequel of an original movie you loved probably isn’t very good. 

But the opposite is true in fundraising: the seventh “March appeal” raises tons more money than the original, because you’re so much better at it and have learned so many lessons.

Let me really bring home the benefits of this approach for you: if you have a small handful of successful sequels to use every year, it means you have a steady stream of increasing revenue plus the time to work on other things.

As you look at your fundraising calendar for 2026, what appeal or campaign can be a sequel of a successful appeal or campaign you did this year?

Word Pictures

Steven Screen  |  Ask
Story.

It happens all the time at nonprofits – you want to include a story in your next appeal or e-appeal to help donors understand the situation better… but you don’t have a story.

In case that ever happens to you, here’s a technique we use all the time.  I call it “telling a true story about a person you know exists but you have not met.”

Here’s an example for an organization that sends missionaries and is raising money to provide training for the missionaries. 

As I write you today, there’s a missionary who could use a little help.  Their faith is strong, their marriage is strong, but they could use a little break and a little encouragement.  That’s why I’m excited to tell you that your gift of $XX will provide a day of respite and training.

Because in the life of a missionary, there should be times of rest.  These are people who think about their calling 24/7!  And with as rapidly as today’s world is moving, it’s hard to build deep cross-cultural relationships and stay on top of the latest missionary knowledge.

Your gift will allow one person to do just that.

Imagine the relief when a missionary hears, “A generous donor has sent in a gift to help pay for your training.  And the cost for this break and trip will be paid for – it doesn’t come out of your personal budget!”

If you put yourself in a tired missionary’s shoes for a moment, I’m sure you can image tears, and relief, and joy, and wonderment.

See how there’s no traditional “story”?  But can you also see how we’ve painted a true word picture that helps the donor see the situation and what their gift will do?

Here’s the thing: you are an expert in the people or cause you’re working on.  You know the details, the circumstances, and the emotions.

So you can share details that you know are true, even though you don’t know the people themselves.

This technique is not a replacement for “a great story from the field.”  (There are details and emotions in real stories that even the best writers can’t create.)

But sometimes you don’t have a story.  And when you know your work, and you know your fundraising would be more powerful with true details, this technique is helpful.

People are More Important than Platforms

Steven Screen  |  Repeat
Online platforms.

The online fundraising platforms we’re currently using are going to change.

Think about it.  For any Fundraiser who has been fundraising online for a decade, they’ve had two dominant platforms: Facebook and Instagram.

Now podcasts, texts and TikTok are coming.

If you work in Fundraising for the next 20 years, I bet there will be three or four more platforms.

The technology changes every couple of years.  Human psychology barely changes at all.

It’s good to know the ins and outs of whatever platform you’re using now.  But what will make you an exceptional Fundraiser is knowing the ins and outs of what makes people give and then give again.

Then you’ll succeed on any platform.

***

PS — writing this post made me realize that the two channels that have the most staying power are probably the mail and email.  I suggest that’s true because mail and email are experienced by the recipient as a direct message to them.

Texts have the same feature.

If those are the three “platforms” that are going to stick around, I would prioritize getting good at them.  Plus, they have a feature that is always a benefit: they allow you to “own your list” instead of being at the mercy of the algorithm.

How I Learned to Give Directions

Steven Screen  |  Ask
Give directions.

Back in the 90’s I received a lesson in giving directions, and I use that lesson in fundraising every day…

I was writing and producing radio commercials for a national chain of bookstores.  At the end of each ad, there were 8 seconds to describe the location of one of their stores.  And I was responsible for writing the description of each store’s location.

When I started writing these, my instinct was to start the description in the context of the store.  This resulted in descriptions like, “you’ll find us at the NW corner of Harlow and Prescott, across from the museum, in Byron Center.”

This approach puts significant cognitive load on the listener because they must remember a lot of details (which corner? what streets? across from which landmark?) before they even know what town the store is in.  And if the town turns out to be close by, the listener then has to “go backwards” and remember the details from before. 

Thankfully my boss corrected me and said something like, “don’t start the description from the store, start the description from a place the listener knows.  Always write from the known to the unknown.”

This advice changed how I give directions, and how I write.

My revised store directions were much more helpful to people: “You’ll find us South of Grand Rapids, in Byron Center, across from the museum, on the corner of Harlow and Prescott.”

My fundraising writing was better.  Before, I tended to write from the context of the nonprofit: “We have 4 programs to help people in our community.  And all our programs take a holistic approach to addressing the needs of junior high students who are behind in math.”  Today, I start with something the listener knows or understands; “There are local junior high students who are behind in math.  Our approach is holistic, and we serve them with 4 different programs.”

Going “from the known to the unknown” makes your fundraising easier to understand quickly because it reduces the cognitive load on your readers. 

This ability to meet donors on common ground – to write fundraising that they understand that then helps them see what their gift will make possible through you, is gold.

If you do this, more people will read your fundraising.  And when more people read your fundraising, more people tend to give to your nonprofit.

Ingredients vs. Main Dishes

Steven Screen  |  Ask
Jeff Brooks blog

Today I want to point you to a fantastic blog post by Jeff Brooks over at the Moceanic blog. 

Jeff writes about one particular letter…

I’m going to show you a four-page direct mail appeal I wrote awhile back. I had an unusually strong story to work with, and I was tempted to over-focus on it by using the techniques of creative writing and journalism. Fortunately, I caught myself in time and turned it back into a fundraising message.

I’m encouraging you to read this because the letter is very good, and it’s always good to be exposed to effective fundraising.  And because, as Jeff walks you through the letter, he also shares helpful lessons about how to tell stories that move people to give. 

Give it a read!

Two Questions Never to Ask About Fundraising

Jeff Brooks  |  Repeat

The following is a hand-picked guest post from Jeff Brooks. Enjoy, and you can read more about Jeff below.

* * *

In fundraising, it’s smart to get more than one pair of eyes on anything you plan to send out.

But not everything you ask people will give you useful or accurate information.

Here are two questions fundraisers often ask others that often lead to fundraising failure:

  1. Do you like this? Fundraising isn’t meant to be liked. It’s meant to connect and persuade. Those are not at all the same thing. In fact, it’s common for the most effective fundraising to be disliked. And when nonprofit staff “like” the message, it is very likely to do poorly with donors. They are the wrong audience entirely. Good fundraising will often rub them the wrong way.

  2. Would you give to this? This might seem a more on-target question. But it’s not. Because rationally thinking through whether or not you’d respond is radically unlike encountering a message, paying attention to it, and following through with a donation. Those two situations are so different, there’s no correlation between the two. If there’s a correlation, it’s the strong negative correlation between insiders saying they’d give and donors actually giving.

If you’re hoping to improve your fundraising, don’t ask anyone either of these questions.

* * *

Steven says, “Jeff Brooks is the brilliant author of Future Fundraising Now (which you should subscribe to).  I’ve been lucky enough to know Jeff since we both had hair that was longer and browner.  He’s the best, clearest voice on direct response fundraising that I know of.”

Should You Write at a Sixth Grade Level?

Tom Ahern  |  Repeat
Sixth grade reading.

The following is a hand-picked guest post from Tom Ahern. Enjoy, and you can read more about Tom below.

* * *

Do low grade scores read as dumbing down?

If you write an appeal at the 6th-grade level, you’re not targeting kids. You’re helping busy adults “get” your ask as fast as possible.

[The subhead above was written at the 6th-grade level, as scored by Flesch-Kincaid. It has a reading ease score of 76 out of 100, far ABOVE the desired minimum of 55. Did you recoil? Did you instantly think: “Dammit, Tom. Stop talking down to me!”]

——

There it was… in my email in-box: the Bat signal … from a friend and colleague…

Hi Tom,

I have a work problem and need your help, please!

When I got to [insert charity name here; it’s in NYC], they were passing the foundation’s quarterly impact reports verbatim on to major donors.

My boss saw that I have the comms knack and let me take over editing these to make them “individual-donor friendly” – mainly choosing one impact story and highlighting a person receiving benefit from our programs, with photo, etc…

Now we have a new VP of Development. The guy who writes these foundation reports directly reports to her… and she is now letting him stick his nose into what we are doing. He has no training in fundraising.

While I was at a doctor appointment a few weeks ago, my junior colleague agreed to share the draft he and I had been working on with this guy, who proceeded to torture him for 45 minutes and tell him how stupid he was for using low Flesch-Kincaid grade scores as our benchmark. To summarize the marcomm rant: “Our donors are not stupid” etc.

You’ve heard it all before.

So I have a very small window in which to educate this ignoramus. I have a big folder of stuff I’ve accumulated over the years plus books.

Do you have any sort of executive summary of Tom’s laws that I can share? If not, I can provide the kit and kaboodle to my colleague, and he can distill it down.

Best,
[name deleted]

PS: I can’t believe this is happening.

——

My reply to [name deleted]…

Preach, sister. (And so sorry!)

Clearly, your marcomm guy doesn’t know what he doesn’t yet know. And weren’t we all in those shoes once upon a time?

It’s almost an unbelievable story, after all.

Who would guess that the Flesch-Kincaid readability scales are one of the best-kept trade secrets of the world’s most successful direct-mail copywriters?

Or who would guess that these same Flesch-Kincaid ease-of-reading scales dictate how the U.S. Navy writes its maintenance manuals? Keeping that sophisticated machinery humming are bright, recent high-school graduates. Hey, sailor: Got a problem? Here’s how to fix it quickly. Even though you’re not a nuclear scientist.

So, my friend, here’s an excerpt from a book I compiled from experts around the world: If Only You’d Known….

If you’re looking for the equivalent to “Tom’s laws,” this is as close as I have.

Chapter 15

What’s the preferred “grade level” of reading for a direct mail appeal?

[  ] 6th grade
[  ] 9th grade
[  ] 12th grade

Grade level and speed reading

[Answer to the quiz above] You’re not sure, right? Well, what if I told you that this particular direct mail appeal hoped to raise donations from alumni of a prestigious university?

In that case, you might assume “12th grade.” The thinking: write at the same grade level as a person’s educational attainment.

Otherwise you commit the insult of “writing down.”

Not exactly

“Grade level,” as measured by the standard Flesch-Kincaid readability scoring system,[1] has nothing to do with your intelligence or how far you went in school.

The system scores just one thing:
How quickly my brain can move through your prose.
Below, on the left, are the readability scores for a successful direct mail letter.

On the right are the readability scores for a university-written case for support. The one on the left will be a brisk read for everyone. The one on the right will be a slog for everyone, including the Ph.Ds.

You decide.

Your writing can bring me clarity and quick understanding. Or your writing can bring me labor. Which do you think is more “reader convenient”… or appreciated?

[1] Built into Microsoft Word and available for free on the internet

* * *

Steven says, “Tom Ahern was described by the New York Times as “…one of the country’s most sought-after creators of fundraising messages.” Tom has what I’d call the industry-leading newsletter about fundraising. Being mentioned in it was a career highlight for me. You can (and should!) subscribe for free here.”

Attention Leaks

Steven Screen  |  Ask
Distractions.

It is hard to get a donor’s attention.

So when you are sending a donor something with an explicit purpose – for instance you’re Asking for a gift or Reporting back on what their previous gifts made possible – don’t include anything that can cause your donor’s attention to “leak” away from your main message. 

Here are three examples of accidental attention leaks:

  • Your social media handles on the envelope for your appeal.  At the moment a donor picks up your envelope, would you like them to open the envelope and have a 4% chance of them sending you a gift… or go to your Instagram page and have a .25% chance of giving you a gift?
  • Promoting your upcoming event right before the ask to give a gift.  It’s well known that the more options you give a donor, the smaller the overall response.  I’ve seen many a great fundraising email or letter torpedoed by someone who says, “Hey, please add a paragraph about our event” or “Be sure to also mention that we need volunteers and include the link.” 
  • A list of your Board members down the left side of your appeal letter.  I ran a test once where we sent a letter to half a nonprofit’s donors on letterhead that had the list of Board members down the left, and the same exact letter to the other half of the organization’s donor except the list of Board members had been removed.  The letter without the list of Board members raised more money.

In my opinion, here’s what happens when you list the Board members down the side.  Some donors are reading the letter, picking up what you are laying down, starting to think about giving a gift… and they see a name on the left that takes their attention away from the carefully crafted letter.  Maybe the name reminds them of a friend from college.  They wonder what that person is up to.  And pretty soon your donor is on Facebook instead of reading and responding to your letter.

Your organization spends so much time, money and effort to get a donor to read your fundraising.  Don’t allow anything in your fundraising other than content and design that will drive them towards taking the action you want them to take.

There is one place this advice doesn’t apply – your e-newsletter.  You can stick everything in there because you don’t expect anyone to respond.

But if you want people to respond, here’s what I’ve learned over years and years of looking at fundraising results: pieces of fundraising that “keep the main thing the main thing” will cause the most action and help your organization the most.

Are you looking for your “lucky duck” fundraising stories?

Julie Cooper  |  Ask
Lucky duck.

The following is a hand-picked guest post from Julie Cooper. Enjoy, and you can read more about Julie below.

* * *

Keep your eyes open for story moments that can create powerful, unexpected emotions.

There’s a very cool-looking Jeep that Brett and I often notice during our neighborhood walks. On its dashboard are a bunch of cute little rubber ducks.

Eventually, driving around, we noticed other Jeeps with ducks on their dashboards.

Finally we got curious enough to ask the Internet.

Yep, it’s a thing.

It’s called “Jeep ducking.“

According to this article from Sleep Hollow Auto Group, the trend kicked off in early Covid days:

In July 2020, Allison Parliament had recently moved to a new town and purchased a Jeep Wrangler. After a tough day, she was out shopping and spotted another Jeep Wrangler in the parking lot of the store. Wanting to spread a little positivity, she took out a marker and wrote “Nice Jeep” on a rubber duck she’d just purchased, and she left it on the vehicle for the owner to find.

As she was finishing up, the owner of the vehicle – who she described as a “burly, scary-looking, 6-foot-5 guy” – asked what she was doing. She showed him the duck, and he loved it! He told Allison she should post it on social media.
​

She posted the photo that day, and her unique act of kindness spread like wildfire under the hashtag #duckduckjeep. People started buying rubber ducks and leaving them on Jeeps across the nation, inspiring a fun tradition among Jeep owners and enthusiasts alike.
​
Soon, people were buying ducks in different colors, ducks of different sizes, ducks in outfits – all with the intention of giving them away to make someone else smile. And as people collected them, Jeep drivers displayed them on their dashboard – in what’s now lovingly known as a “duck pond.”

I love this. You can build a vibrant community based on true kindness.

Sounds a lot like fundraising, right?

Are you looking for your “lucky duck” fundraising stories?

Jeep owners are “lucky ducks.”

They’re lucky when they give.

And when they receive.

It’s a virtuous circle.

I’m reminded of a client appeal Brett and I wrote – that performed very well – in which a senior who’d endured terrible trauma later took to calling herself a “lucky duck.”

Can you imagine?

When Brett and I interviewed this woman, who goes by “CP,” we could hardly believe what we were hearing.

CP’s spirit was so incredibly bright, in spite of it all.

That’s why we leaned into the lucky duck aspect of CP’s story. We featured it on the first page of the appeal letter. Below is the version that went to monthly donors. (You can read the full 2-page appeal here.)

I want to call your attention to 2 paragraphs.

“Then I was attacked on the street, twice. My back was broken in 7 places. (I’ll spare you the other details.)

But I’m happy! I’m lucky to be alive and to be living here at Potiker Family Senior Residence. I have a roof over my head and a full belly every day. I really am a lucky duck. Quack-quack!!!”

Talk about powerful, unexpected emotions! 

3 takeaways for you:

  1. Build on authentic story moments — like CP’s “lucky duck” spirit. When someone shares something that strikes you as unusual and makes you feel “some kind of way,” note it and think carefully about how you might honor it in your appeal.
  2. Embrace the unexpected — Who could have guessed that rubber ducks would become a symbol of Jeep community? Or that a woman who survived brutal attacks would radiate such joy? Such unexpected elements are key to creating unforgettable stories.
  3. Recognize that your donors are “lucky ducks” too — Remember that giving can feel as good as (if not better than) receiving, so don’t be afraid to ASK. Every ASK is a feel-good giving opportunity.

The next time you’re crafting an appeal, think of CP’s “Quack-quack!!!” spirit and look for those “ducks on a dashboard” fundraising story moments. Few people can resist the “unexpected feels!”

* * *

Steven says, “This guest post is from Julie Cooper, the ‘fundraising copywriter and donor communications specialist’ who I’m THRILLED to share with you.  Julie’s (and her partner Brett’s ) newsletter and blog are full of fun, practical advice.”