The Simple Outline for Appeals That Raise Money

letter outline

I noticed a pattern that I want to share with you.

We see a LOT of appeals around here and I read them all. And we spend a lot of time with the results because we want our coaching to be based on what works, not on what we like.

About a week ago I noticed the appeals that did not work well tended to follow the same general outline. It goes something like this:

  1. Thank you for helping in the past
  2. Let me tell you a story about someone we already helped
  3. Please help us continue this good work

I think this is fascinating because every step of that outline makes sense:

  • Of course you should thank your donors for their previous giving. That’s just being polite, and it reminds them that they’ve given before.
  • Of course you should tell them a story about a person (or thing) that’s already been helped. That shows the donor that their past gifts made a difference, that the donor can trust you, and that your organization is effective.
  • And of course you should ask them to help you continue the good work. You need their donations, and the work is good.

But here’s the thing; even though every step in that outline makes sense, appeal letters and e-appeals that follow this outline don’t raise as much money as they could. We know this from years of experimenting and testing. This is one of those places in fundraising where common sense isn’t the best sense. What you need is data.

So what’s the alternative? Here’s the outline that works best for our clients:

  1. There’s a problem right now
  2. You are needed to solve it
  3. Here’s how your gift will solve it

When our clients adopt this outline, their appeals and e-appeals immediately start to raise more money.

The next time you are appealing for funds, follow this model. You’ll raise more money. And your donors will love knowing that they helped solve a real, urgent problem.

I mean that. If you honor and respect your donors by sharing real problems that your beneficiaries and your organization are facing, Donors will love helping you. Be vulnerable with your donors, and they will reward you with their generosity!

If you want to go deeper on this issue, download our free eBook!

Ideas to Make Your Outer Envelopes POP!

Envelopes

I open a lot of mail – a lot of fundraising direct mail.

Every day I’ll receive at least two appeals, along with the usual smattering of utility bills and pizza promotions.

I must have received thousands of letters over the years, but I only remember a handful. Yes, it takes something special to get my attention.

Your donor needs something special, too. From the moment she wakes up, she’s bombarded by messages, all competing for her attention. So don’t assume she’s going to open your next appeal letter.

But there are some things you can do to make your letter stand out in the mailbox. And it starts with the outer envelope.

Also called the “carrier,” the outer envelope serves two purposes – to deliver your letter, and then, to entice her to open it. But there are some simple guidelines it should follow:

  • The language on the outside, usually called the “teaser,” should be donor-focused – keep it about her, not your organization
  • Teaser language should focus on a benefit to your donor, the offer, the match, etc.
  • The teaser should steer away from being conceptual, cute, or clever, as it lowers response rates

The first impression your donor has – your outer envelope and your teaser – is the critical first step to getting a donation. But it can be a tightrope walk – go too far with a teaser or image, and your appeal will likely end up in the trash.

To avoid that result, here are some ideas I’ve used to help make outer envelopes pop:

  • Use a blank #10 outer envelope. Put your organization’s details, if you need to include them, on the reverse flap. But a blank envelope can really grab a donor’s attention.
  • Consider writing a handwritten note on your outer envelope (e.g. Your gift doubles, SEE INSIDE!)
  • Experiment with alternative envelope colors such as brown craft, canary yellow, light blue, pink, or even green
  • Try a different sized envelope such as a 6×9
  • Thicker envelope stock can help your appeal stand out in the mailbox, separating it from all the other communication she may receive
  • Use a reverse window (flipping the window and address block to the back of envelope and giving you more real-estate up front)
  • Use full-bleed, which is a wrap-around full-color envelope. But this can be expensive

A well-written and well-designed outer envelope has the power to draw a better response from your donor. And if the goal is to have your appeal stand out in a crowded and noisy mailbox, you should try some of these ideas!

It’s Time to Get Ugly and Improve Your Fundraising Results

As consumers, it’s fair to say that we’re attracted to good design.

Whether it’s on a billboard, in a magazine, or a sales brochure, marketers have figured out that an alluring graphic design can inspire emotions to increase the likelihood of us buying their product.

Believe it or not, the same is true of fundraising. Only it’s a little different.

Marketers, if they’re doing a good job, will design and write to a target audience – the people they want to buy something. Have you ever wondered why all the candy and sugary cereal is placed on the lower shelves at your grocery store? Because kids are the target audience.

For us fundraisers, our target audience is generally a little older and less into sugar. To be specific, you should be designing your donor communication for a female, around 69-years-old. Let’s call her Judy.

And for Judy, ugly works.

Yes, you read that correctly. What a younger audience sees as ugly, works for an audience of baby boomers and arguably, Generation Xers.

But before I go on, let me clarify what I mean by ugly. It’s basically the opposite of the kind of slick marketing we’re all used to. Jeff Brooks, best-selling author and fundraiser, says, “Ugly works. Tacky works. Corny, embarrassing, and messy all work. In print, or in digital.”

Yep.

I’ve had long and at times robust discussions with graphic designers about what the outer envelope and letterhead of an appeal should look like. You may have experienced pushback yourself, perhaps from a board member, field staff, or someone influential in your organization.

If that’s the case, then my suggestion is to stick with what works. Remember, we’re not marketers trying to reach an audience of 20- or 30-somethings, or trying to win a design award. We’re fundraisers, trying to get Judy to open our mail and (hopefully) write a check.

Take your upcoming Christmas appeal, for example — red and green holly, nativity scenes, twinkling stars, angels with big white wings, candles, Christmas trees, and gaudy decorations — for Judy, this screams Christmas.

This kind of design will motivate her to respond, rather than gold-leaf lettering or a sheet of vellum in your packages. Of course, our advice would be to test this theory rigorously at your nonprofit – but in our experience, this approach consistently rings true.

And don’t be afraid to mirror this kind of thinking across all of your donor communications. If your donor file is large enough, splitting your list down the middle and testing content or design can be a great way to learn more about what your donors respond to.

Here are a few more ugly design ideas for you to consider …

Instead of sending out a crisp, professionally designed thank you card to a new donor – something glossy that looks mass produced and impersonal – consider a handwritten note from your Executive Director. To you, this may look ugly. But to your target donor, this is beautiful.

Or instead of an expensive full-color, overprint outer envelope, try sending your donors a plain, white #10 – no teaser, no image. To you, this is super ugly. But it will work.

My advice is that it doesn’t matter if your colleagues, board members, or field staff like your fundraising design. It only matters if Judy does.

EASY year-end emails that raise a ton of money

Year-end emails video still

Last year I came up with a way to make it easier than ever to raise more money with your year-end emails.

It’s a super-easy template you can follow. Your emails will take less time to create AND you’ll raise more money!

easy year end emails video still

And I know it’s July at the moment – but we focus a ton on year-end fundraising around here.

(By the way, all that focus is paying off; last year every one of our clients raised more money at year-end than the year before. That’s a great deal higher than the national average.)

We’ve noticed that the most successful fundraising organizations start creating their year-end fundraising earlier than they need to. They know things will get busy in November and December, and they know their year-end fundraising pieces are the most important pieces they send all year.

So they start early – and you can too. And watch this 7-minute video (and bookmark it!) to save yourself a bunch of time this year-end!

7 Crucial Storytelling Tips to Help You Raise More Money

I make a lot of fundraising videos.

It’s a joy when a video helps a lot of people raise more money – and that’s exactly what this video has done.

I made it with Jeff Brooks and Chris Davenport.  It’s called 7 Crucial Storytelling Tips to Improve Your Fundraising

You’ll learn Jeff’s best tip for how to start your stories, my advice on the best stories to tell in appeals, and why repetition is so important to successful fundraising.

It’s a long one – 20 minutes – but if you watch just the first couple of minutes you’ll leave with a tip that will help you raise more money the very next time you send a communication to your donors. I hope you’ll watch it and raise more money!

Unhelpful questions

Bad questions

I get asked questions about appeals ALL THE TIME.

And I believe that all questions are good questions. But not all of the questions are helpful questions.

There are some questions that are signs that a fundraiser or organization is heading down the wrong path.

Think of it this way. Say someone asked you…

“When I’m making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, when do I add the roast beef?”

You’d know that there’s something they don’t quite understand. “There’s nothing wrong with roast beef,” you’d say, “but it’s not a good idea to put it on a PB&J.”

I call questions like that…

Wrong Path Questions

Here’s a small handful of questions where organizations are asking about “when to put the roast beef on their PB&J.”

My reason for doing this is not to poke fun at the silly things nonprofits do (though that’s fun and, let’s admit, there’s a lot of material). My hope is to help Fundraisers like you know how to answer the questions that will invariably come your way from people in your organization who aren’t trained in all this stuff.

“How can we convince people we are effective?”

In a nutshell, you don’t even want to try to convince people that you’re effective in a letter or email. In my experience, doing so will cause your letter or email to raise less money. Donors do care about whether you’re effective, but in your mass donor communications your effectiveness is NOT one of the top reasons they give or don’t give. And in a letter or email, you only have time to talk about the top reasons.

“How can I make this sound like my Executive Director (or ‘our voice’)?”

Making direct mail or email sound like a particular person or “voice” is almost always a mistake. A more helpful goal is to learn the best practices for direct mail and email, then make your materials sound like those best practices. That means short sentences and paragraphs, it means being direct and repetitive. Those approaches are tested and proven to work the best. If “sounding like your voice” means your letter doesn’t sound like effective direct response fundraising, then your voice is hurting your fundraising, not helping.

Marginally effective: direct mail written in your voice.
Effective: direct mail that follows best practices, featuring small elements of your voice

“How can I use emotion without being emotionally manipulative?”

The idea that any of us fundraisers can emotionally manipulate donors is ridiculous. Donors are adults. They can make their own decisions. What you’re trying to do in fundraising is tap into emotions the donor already has.

“We don’t like to share any bad news or Need; how can I Ask effectively?”

You can’t Ask effectively if you don’t share Need. If you don’t like to share bad news or a need, you’ve just removed one of (if not the) most effective tools you have to motivate donors to give. Most donors, most of the time, are motivated to help people (or a cause) in need. Or to avoid the loss of something. If you don’t want to share need, you’ve placed an artificial ceiling on the amount of money you can raise for your beneficiaries or cause.

“We aren’t simple like those big organizations. How can we describe everything we do?”

Those big organizations aren’t simple. They are more complex than you know. But they are incredibly disciplined with their fundraising. They only talk about the parts of their organization that raise the most money. Your job is to find out the parts of your work that donors respond most to, then be disciplined and only talk about those parts. You’ll raise more money that way.

“I don’t like the way fundraising letters look; what else can I use that’s effective?”

Professional fundraising letters look the way they look because that “look” has been proven to work best. They key here is to set aside personal preferences and trust the testing that’s been done over the last 70 years of sending mail to people and analyzing the results.

The Challenge

The challenge for smaller-shop fundraisers is to make sure the “wrong path” questions don’t take your fundraising further down the wrong path.

That’s hard work. Because at small shops there are often multiple people with no direct response fundraising training, and they’re asking questions based on their opinions, not on the science of fundraising.

I hope this helps you face your challenges – at least with these particular questions!

Good questions

Man with questions.

I get asked questions about appeals ALL THE TIME.

The questions tend to fall into three buckets:

  1. Tactical questions
  2. Right Path questions
  3. Wrong Path questions

The tactical questions are good ones. They’re a sign of people and organizations trying to figure out the best practices for fundraising in appeals and e-appeals.

These are things like, “How long should my letter be?” and “Who should sign it?” (I should mention that I answer a number of these every week during Free Review Fridays.)

Right Path Questions

There’s a set of questions that I think are signs that a Fundraiser or organization is “heading down the right path” toward creating successful appeals and e-appeals.

Another way to put this: they are questions that people are asking about the things that really matter in the success or failure of appeals.

Because working on the things that matter will help you be more successful, faster.

My hope is at least one of them sparks a conversation about your appeals that leads you to the next level.

So here are just a few questions that I love getting, because they’re a sign that an organization is moving their donor communications forward…

  • What am I actually trying to make happen with an appeal?
  • Do we want our donors to “like” our appeal?
  • What should not be in an appeal?
  • What’s my offer?
  • Does the headline on the reply device make perfect sense after reading the letter?
  • Is the letter repetitive enough?
  • How many times should I ask?
  • Should I use “I” or “we”?
  • How do I create custom gift ask amounts?
  • Who should I send this to?
  • What should and shouldn’t go on a reply card?
  • What types of teasers work best?
  • What information should be a “headline” and what should be a “copy point”?
  • What should I leave out of the letter?
  • Should I do a different version for major donors?
  • Is my first sentence super easy to read?
  • What’s the real purpose of underlining and/or bolding?
  • How long before a deadline should I mail a letter?
  • Should I send a follow-up mailing?
  • What kinds of offers work best?
  • How can I use email to increase response to my appeal letter?

Each of these questions – to me – is a good question. It shows that the organization is wrestling with an issue that will help them better connect with their donors and raise more money.

Next Post…

Then there’s a set of questions I call Wrong Path Questions. They are questions that are usually a sign of an organization that is already on its way down a path towards raising less money.

It’s like a flock of birds arguing whether they should fly East or West for the winter when, really, they should be flying South.

Stay tuned for those in my next post.

The Ingredients in Successful Offers

We’re doing a series of posts that explain “fundraising offers” so that you can use this super-tool to raise more money.

The previous post talked about what an offer is. My definition is as follows:

You can think of the offer as the very short summary of what you’re communicating to the donor about at this moment.

Over the last 70 years, smart fundraisers have noticed that successful offers tend to have a few things in common. Here’s my attempt to break down what you need to know – the ingredients that give you the best chance of succeeding…

The Four Elements of Successful Offers

Here are the four “elements” or “ingredients” that I always include when I create fundraising, and look for when I review fundraising…

  1. A solvable problem that’s easy to understand
  2. A solution to that problem that’s easy to understand
  3. The cost of the solution seems like a good deal
  4. There’s urgency to solve the problem NOW

My next posts are going to look at each of these elements in turn.

Today, we’re going to break down what’s in the first element, “a solvable problem that’s easy to understand.”

A solvable problem that’s easy to understand

There are three main ideas here.

A Problem

First, let’s talk about “a problem.” When you are talking to all of your donors (appeals, emails, events, newsletters, etc.) your fundraising will raise more money if it talks about a problem that needs to be solved.

This is the hardest hurdle for most nonprofits to jump. Most nonprofits don’t want to talk about problems. They don’t want to talk about the needs of their beneficiaries. Or about the negative consequences if the organization were not able to do its work.

This is not the place to dig into why that happens.

But I hope you’ll trust both my good intentions and 25 years of experience when I say this:

Sharing a need or a problem with your donors will help donors remember why they give to you in the first place, will help donors remember that there are people in need right now, will not take away from the “dignity” of your beneficiaries, and will help you raise more money.

To share some examples, here are some “problems” I’ve used in just the last week:

  • “Operas in future seasons are at risk of not being funded”
  • “A smart, underprivileged girl has qualified for college but can’t afford to go”
  • “Children are being sexually abused, and the people around them don’t know the signs or what to do about it”
  • “We have a budget shortfall”

Solvable

The problem you share needs to be “solvable.”

More donors respond when you present them with a problem that can be solved quickly or easily.

For instance, if the main problem your letter presents is “poverty in Africa” or “illiteracy in our country,” those problems are too big to be solved today. You won’t raise as much as you can.

Here’s my explanation for why. At some level, the donor knows that her gift will not “end illiteracy.” She knows that she can’t “end poverty in Africa.” So she believes your letter a little less. And she’s less likely to give a gift.

Instead, you want to share “solvable” problems like “one poor family in Africa” or “one junior high class that’s struggling to read.” The donor can easily see how those are solvable problems. Now she believes in your letter a little more, and is more likely to give a gift.

Easy to Understand

Finally, the problem needs to be easy for the donor to understand.

This is where it’s helpful to remind organizations that their donors do not know nearly as much about the problem you’re working on as the organization does.

Organizations tend to present complex problems to donors – problems that require a lot of context to fully understand and be moved by.

The problem with that strategy is twofold:

  1. The vast majority of donors don’t have all that context. So the fundraising isn’t meaningful to them.
  2. You’re communicating with those donors in the mail or email, where they are only giving you a few seconds of attention before deciding what to do. You don’t have time to give them all that context in just a few seconds! It’s like trying to give someone a PhD in a week. No matter how smart they are, it’s not going to work.

Let me share an example with you. We serve an organization whose mission is to “end generational homelessness.” It’s an awesome mission, and they’re an incredible organization. Their ED is one of the most inspiring leaders I know.

But when they make “generational homelessness” the problem in their fundraising, they raise less money.

That’s mostly because “generational homelessness” is a) not solvable with a gift today, and b) a really complex problem.

The fundraising offer we moved them to – the main thing they talk about at almost all times – is “Local moms and kids are homeless, and you can provide them with a safe place to stay for a night.”

The problem “local moms and kids are homeless” requires a lot less time and understanding from a donor – and it’s helped this organization grow their fundraising by an average of 20% per year for the five years we’ve been working with them.

Next Up…

The next post will show you how to use the second element in successful fundraising offers: “A solution to that problem that’s easy to understand.”

And listen, all of this probably seems like a lot of work.

It is.

But it works like crazy.

Our industry has 70 years of knowledge about how to create powerful offers. It can’t be downloaded to your brain, Matrix-style, in 10 minutes.

But I’m taking apart “offers” bit by bit, and explaining them, so that you can make powerful offers for your organization.

Because a powerful fundraising offer will help you raise a lot more money.

Read the entire series:

  1. How to Create a Great Fundraising Offer: What’s an Offer?
  2. Why a Good Fundraising Offer Works So Well
  3. The Ingredients in Successful Offers
  4. How to Describe the “Solution” Your Organization Provides
  5. How to Raise More Money by Asking for the Right Amount
  6. How and Why to Give Your Donors a Reason to Give Today
  7. What About Internal Experts Who Don’t Like Fundraising Offers?
  8. How to Make Sure a Low-Priced Offer Does NOT Produce Small Gifts
  9. Half As Important
  10. Offers for Major Donors
  11. Summarizing and Closing This Chapter on Fundraising Offers

11 donor-centric sentences you can use…

Lightbulb.

Here’s a question I get asked at least once a week:

“I see why it makes sense to write ‘to the donor about their gift’ instead of writing about my organization…

But how do I do that?”

My encouragement is that you can learn the same way I learned: you can take good copy from another organization and customize it for your non-profit.

So here are some sample sentences you can steal like an artist and customize for your organization. All of these sentences are from appeals that performed at or above expectations.

All are from appeal letters. Some of them are opening lines. Some are from the middle, some from near the end.

  • I’m writing you today with an important request. You are one of our most faithful donors, and I’m going to be very direct.
  • I’m so thankful to be able to write you about this.
  • You can really make a difference in the lives of suffering people.
  • When you give, it’s as if you’re right there beside us, caring for people in the field.
  • You’ll love how your gift is multiplied by volunteers and donated goods.
  • I couldn’t wait to write you this letter.
  • Look at how much good you can do; you can…
  • Here’s why your gift is so important.
  • [NAME], you’ve already been so generous, but I want you to know about the incredible need right now – and the opportunity for you to help.
  • I know you care for each [CATEGORY OF PERSON/CREATURE YOU WORK WITH].
  • Thank you for taking a moment out of your day to respond to this letter now.

There you go. Modify these for your organization – or just copy them!

Your donors will feel like you’re talking to them about the things they care about. And that’s the surest path to fundraising success.